《I Have No Following + I Must Share》

Hello there!

I hope you’re taking care as we move into another winter together. I’ve been spending some time thinking about algorithms, Black Friday, parasocial relationships, surveillance capitalism, + my dreams/intentions for Amethyst Bumblebee (+ I felt like sharing in the hopes of contributing to a larger dialogue). I’ve put some links in my bio if you’re interested in more information, but while I have your attention, I’d like to appeal to you as one community member to another.

This holiday season I’d like to offer you my validation, boundaries, + reassurance. 

We are coming upon the time of year where I look around at my fellow creatives + I see a bunch of beautiful, bright souls running themselves ragged, compromising their sleep schedules + time with their loved ones, + falling into patterns of disordered eating in an attempt to keep up with the increasingly commercial focus of the season. The expectations for small businesses to match major corporations (in terms of discounts, immediate shipping, marketing campaigns, etc.) seems to multiply annually + it frustrates me to see how many sacrifices artists + creatives have to make just to stay afloat. 

I say this not to shame those who patronize our work + share our visions/thoughts/experiences with those they love; but rather to draw attention to our good intentions. We all aim to contribute to this bigger, greater joy; I merely suggest that if we can adjust our lenses a little bit, we may be able to do so more effectively. 

I’m currently re-evaluating my limitations as an artist + rearranging my priorities a little. I realize that I’m often willing to overwork myself in pursuit of self-expression, + I’m trying to develop better boundaries + habits surrounding social media, but it is hard to practice these skills without being afforded the space + security that corporations (or those with generational wealth)  have accumulated through exploitation. I am only one person (though I am generously aided by my [unpaid] fiance who also works full-time). I am Black, Indigenous, Neurodivergent, + a “spoonie” (one who lives with chronic illnesses/pain/medical disabilities). Though I understand that the growth of Amethyst Bumblebee may be less linear or look very different than other businesses, I belong to a lot of different communities + throughout them all I’m seeing a recurring motif of unsustainability. Theoretically, we all need to address our base needs first in order to sustainably work towards our own self-actualization, our need to feel accepted, + esteem needs, but so often I see creatives having to bypass their base needs in an attempt to commodify (+ potentially survive off of) their self-expression, vulnerable moments, + identities. 

One of these basic needs (according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) that I can try to afford myself this season is rest in the form of boundaries. As I’m sure you might have noticed by now, social media has fed the demand for a 24/7 marketplace. There is no off-season or even non-busy season for small businesses + creators within late-stage capitalism. We are often expected to be available 24/7 while also remaining personable + emotionally available to people on the gamble that the potential customer will value our art as much as we do. One could even argue that we’re expected to showcase our processes + personalities more often than our finished work. Again, I call attention to this not to shame, but to highlight our good intent. 

We seek community! What a beautiful + powerful motivation we all share! But I fear that these parasocial relationships that we are all developing through social media are not sustainable + therefore not reliable. I want better for us both. 

My wonderful supporter, I cannot be available always, nor should I; actually, I’m realizing that the quality of my work + the integrity of my very creative cycles depends on it. I think we could all benefit from being mindful about the virtual communities we choose to engage with, intentionally or unintentionally promote, + whether our expectations for the artists in our communities are in alignment with our values, realistic, or even allow them space to consider their needs. Where can we afford to create more space, for our creatives + otherwise? This season + as an ongoing practice?

In all transparency, I am (eagerly) managing many different growing pains for Amethyst Bumblebee, including a call to commit to more sliding-scale, service-based, interpersonal work (some of which will be housed on fadedandfrustrated.com, some at @fadedandfrustrated + @amethsytbumblebeesoaps on IG). I’m also nearly finished establishing the glass jar/bottle recycling program, as well as the punch card program so that I have a way to say thank you to those that offer their time + coin to keep my work going. I’d like to incorporate more anti-capitalist practices into my work, which (for me) will probably involve progressively divesting from certain social media + e-commerce sites (as I can afford to). However, in doing so I do compromise my income from those channels + therefore to create my art as we currently know it. But I want to reassure you, my work so far is only one iteration of my self-expression; I promise it can exist in other forms. I’m merely hoping that you’ll offer me a bit of patience during this metamorphosis. 

It is here that I ask for your patronage + support as a community member as opposed to just a shop, whether that be in the traditional sense of monetary or material donations (as you can afford them, of course), or in the literal sense of becoming a Patreon Patron + contributing your voice (which you can provide without becoming a paying Patron). I ask that you remember that your local craftspeople + creatives are literally your neighbors, + you have the power to afford them more rest + time with their families by extending a tiny bit of empathy. 

In lieu of a weird, parasocial bond that will ultimately doom us both to feeling disconnected, unappreciated, + unheard, I can offer you my word. As opposed to having an arbitrary annual sale designed to create a sense of scarcity, I’ll continue to price my goods at affordable prices year-round (sometimes at a loss), because I believe that quality tools for self-care should be accessible to everyone, all the time. I will continue to strive for integrity in all areas of my work, from ethically-sourcing ingredients + packing, to allowing my vulnerability + availability to show up within my work + in service of those who genuinely value it. Rather than attempting to post to my social media accounts every day, I’d much rather focus on creating, crafting + curating my little dreamscape out here, + I can assure you that on those days you can find me there instead. I can promise that any orders placed between now + the holidays will be fulfilled as quickly as possible, but I also hope that you will forgive me + other creatives if we are working out e-commerce kinks, are subjected to shipping delays, seeking rest from social interactions, or are generally low energy. If you would like to be particularly courteous, perhaps buy a gift card/certificate or event pass in order to support your local vendors while things may be shut down + so they won’t be immediately overwhelmed with orders + services to provide during the holiday season. Basically, please keep in mind that I am not Amazon.

I look forward to us having a more balanced relationship; to being rested enough to give you my all, + to taking the time to create networks + bonds based on acts of community, mutual aid, cooperation, + thoughtfulness. I think we all could all enjoy a higher quality of work/life if we valued our artists as community contributors + emotional interpreters as opposed to merely commodities; where we recognize our abilities to afford them rest + nourishment (outside of capitalist institutions) as opposed to insecurity. I believe in our ability to dream of something else together, I think it may just require a smidge of reframing. We have so many new (+ old) models to call upon; I’m really looking forward to seeing where they’ll take us 🌟